Asking For A Friend
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Asking For A Friend

How many times it acceptable to masturbate during the day? Six? Eight? Fourteen? I’m asking for a friend. See, he gets turned by watching old sitcom opening credits. I’m not sure why this friend is so turned on by sitcom …

5 Ways To Know The Lady In Your Life Wants To Have Sex (Maybe Even With You!)
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5 Ways To Know The Lady In Your Life Wants To Have Sex (Maybe Even With You!)


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5 Things You Don’t Know About Me
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5 Things You Don’t Know About Me

Look, if we’re going to do this thing, you and me, we’re going to have to get to know each other on an uncomfortably personal level. …

Black. Cherry. Bomb. BOOM!
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Black. Cherry. Bomb. BOOM!

I am a 31-year-old man. I have lived on this planet long enough to have now outlived several famous musicians. I’m now old enough to have not been trusted back in the 1960s. I’m only nine years younger than John …

A Classic “Car Song” Updated For Modern Times
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A Classic “Car Song” Updated For Modern Times

Recently an old friend of mine said that they found themselves bored on a long car ride. This got me to thinking that there’s a whole genre of music out there that has stayed pretty much untouched and untapped for …

24 Hours To Live
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24 Hours To Live

If I was given a diagnosis by a doctor that meant I only had one day to live, what would I do? The answer may seem difficult to come up with, if you have no sense of what is important …

An Update On My 2011 New Year’s Resolutions
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An Update On My 2011 New Year’s Resolutions

Last year I made some New Year’s Resolutions. Usually I try to avoid them, but I really felt like 2011 was going to be my year to make big changes in my life, all with one goal in mind: improving …

5 Phrases That Are Never Sexy
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5 Phrases That Are Never Sexy

We all need a little help from time to time, especially in the bedroom (where a lot of the fucking happens). Sure, maybe you know how to behave at a laundromat (where even more fucking happens), and maybe you know …

48 Things I Love To Say (or Shout) While Having Sex With My Sex Partner
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48 Things I Love To Say (or Shout) While Having Sex With My Sex Partner

  1. Yipeeeeee!
  2. Holy shit! This is some awesome sex we’re having right now!
  3. Booby-Titties!
  4. Wow, this is turning out really great for my cock.
  5. Seriously though, it was kinda weird when Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz dated, right?!
  6. How lucky are

    7. …

Planning Ahead: Words and Phrases That Will Be Big in 2012
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Planning Ahead: Words and Phrases That Will Be Big in 2012

I’m a writer. I write. Therefore if there’s anything I’m going to be inherently better at than probably 99% of you reading this it’s knowing about words and phrases. Language is my life’s work, it’s the apple in my eye, …

10 Great Last Porn Lines
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10 Great Last Porn Lines

A friend of mine, we’ll call him “Bames,” has seen a lot of pornographic films in his time. Bames says that his favorite part of a porno flick is the last line. If it’s just a throw-away line, no one …

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