Asking For A Friend
How many times it acceptable to masturbate during the day? Six? Eight? Fourteen? I’m asking for a friend. See, he gets turned by watching old sitcom opening credits. I’m not sure why this friend is so turned on by sitcom …
I am a 31-year-old man. I have lived on this planet long enough to have now outlived several famous musicians. I’m now old enough to have not been trusted back in the 1960s. I’m only nine years younger than John …
Recently an old friend of mine said that they found themselves bored on a long car ride. This got me to thinking that there’s a whole genre of music out there that has stayed pretty much untouched and untapped for …
If I was given a diagnosis by a doctor that meant I only had one day to live, what would I do? The answer may seem difficult to come up with, if you have no sense of what is important …
Last year I made some New Year’s Resolutions. Usually I try to avoid them, but I really felt like 2011 was going to be my year to make big changes in my life, all with one goal in mind: improving …
We all need a little help from time to time, especially in the bedroom (where a lot of the fucking happens). Sure, maybe you know how to behave at a laundromat (where even more fucking happens), and maybe you know …
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I’m a writer. I write. Therefore if there’s anything I’m going to be inherently better at than probably 99% of you reading this it’s knowing about words and phrases. Language is my life’s work, it’s the apple in my eye, …
A friend of mine, we’ll call him “Bames,” has seen a lot of pornographic films in his time. Bames says that his favorite part of a porno flick is the last line. If it’s just a throw-away line, no one …