- Yipeeeeee!
- Holy shit! This is some awesome sex we’re having right now!
- Booby-Titties!
- Wow, this is turning out really great for my cock.
- Seriously though, it was kinda weird when Tom Cruise and Penelope Cruz dated, right?!
- How lucky are YOU right now?!
- Oh damn dawg, you’re pussy’s gooooooodddddddd!
- Can you believe how underrated “Club Dread” is? It’s like the least-loved Broken Lizard movie, but yet has some really, really solid laughs!
- And, GOO!
- My balls really rest nicely on your taint, don’t they?
- Dude, I’m sorry, but I can’t totally believe it’s not butter.
- You gotta get guac, sour cream and cheese on your carne asada burritos. It’s a fucking mandate.
- I mean, their last names are fucking exactly the same except her’s is the Spanish version.
- Sorry about that.
- Do you think there’s a God? Is there in fact a central-figure in the Universe who is in charge?
- I’m really bad at tongue-twisters, by the way.
- I mean, seriously! If they’d gotten married she’d have been Penelope Cruz-Cruise.
- Sorry for farting so much.
- I just feel so bad for Demi Moore, don’t you?
- (sung to the tune of “I’m Walkin’”) Well I’m fuckin’, yes indeed, I’m fuckin’, your puss-ee, I’m fuckin’…
- I have to say, I’m really enjoying this. Thank you so, so much.
- Bo-ner! Bo-ner! Bo-ner!
- I can’t wait to finish this so I can go play some Xbox!
- I feel like Cap’n Crunch right now. Want me to get you a bowl?
- Do you follow Steve Martin on Twitter? You totally should! Such good stuff!
- I think we should get a dog.
- Mmm. Nuh-nah-nuh-nahhhh!
- I swear, after I cum, I’m going to be so gosh darned happy!
- Is it weird that I can really feel my left ball right now?
- YES! I just love the way your genitalia feels!
- (Singing) The touch, the feel, of cotton. The fabric of our lives.
- Yeah, I’m sexing you so good right now! Aren’t I? Just sexing the crap out of you right now! Yeah! Sex!
- I still haven’t found anything for that rash, by the way.
- Is that all you’re going to do?
- Is that all you can do?
- Why are you doing so much?
- Quit it!
- Slow down!
- Ouchie!
- Ffffffffffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuccccccccccccccccckkkkkkkking you.
- Why do they call them “Job Creators” anyway? The only jobs they create are the hand variety from their high-priced hookers.
- That last one was political.
- Maybe unnecessarily so.
- I think my favorite G.I. Joe was probably Duke.
- Again, really sorry I keep farting.
- Boy, this kinda is gross if you just stop and think about it. Me putting this thing inside you. Like, I don’t know for sure of course, but I have to imagine that feels pretty weird, having something put inside you.
- I swear, I can remember who won the 1994 World Series MVP, but I can’t remember how to get inside your vagina without a little help.
- So do you want to stick something in me then, make it even?
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