Mystery Solved

Have you ever wondered if a rabbi, a priest and a monk could ever walk into a bar without some asshole making a wise-crack? I have. Then one day I saw it, with my own two eyes.

It was a day like any other day. Well, it was like any other day except the streets ran red with the blood of the zombie-Nazi army that was raised from their graves using microwave technology, but let’s face it, that’s pretty fucking normal these days. I decided to get myself a drink, given that it was just about 10am, and that’s as good a time as any for a highball or two.

So I’m sitting at the bar, sipping my cocktail, and the bartender says to me, “Hey bro, you gotta put your pants back on.” How the Hell could he tell I had slipped off my dungarees as I sat down on the stool? This guy was good…almost too good. I put my pants back on, not wanting to anger the proprietor any more than I already had.

Then he asked me what I wanted to drink. So I ordered the manliest drink in the world, the “Seminal Vesicles.” It’ s a shot of Pine-Sol with a whisky back. Needless to say, he was very impressed with my mixological knowledge base. He winked and pushed my drink towards me.

Just then, the doors of the bar swung open like in the old western movies, mainly because I was in an old western movie (don’t ask).  In walked, no shit, a rabbi, a priest and a monk. Oddly though, it didn’t seem as though they came together. None of them acknowledged the other, and they sat at three different tables scattered throughout the saloon.

I gazed around and tried to see if anyone else had just noticed the amazing event we had all been witness to. The bartender though, was busy shining his shoes with tequila. The piano player in the corner was to busy banging away at the ivories.  None of the card players or the fancy ladies of the night noticed the three new patrons either.

So apparently it was all down to me. Would I be the asshole who made some stupid remark about the rabbi, the priest and the monk? Could I possibly contain my desire to crack wise? Would I possibly offend the three by making reference to some stupid joke?

I decided to sip my Seminal Vesicles and think about it for a minute. Having just ingested a pine-scented cleaning solvent, my body was none too happy and I went into convulsions, throwing up all over the bar. So no, I didn’t say a fucking thing to those guys.

So I guess we know the answer to that question, don’t we?