Next year, the Academy Awards are going to be hosted by Eddie Murhpy.
“YAY!” Screams the eight year old James who has yet to see what would become of this once truly inspiring comedian’s career. The nearly 31 year old James fights the urge to vomit out of his penis at the news. Why? Why am I having such a violent and negative reaction to this news?
I don’t think War Criminals should host award shows, that’s why. Now, before you get yourself bent out of shape, let me just state my case. Yes, maybe Murphy’s never served in a war, much less committed war-time atrocities. But I submit to you all that his filmography of the past 20 years or so is just under the realm of guys like Gaddhafi, Pol Pot, or Genghis Kahn.
Don’t believe me? Look at the following rap sheet of crimes perpetrated against humanity by Eddie Murphy.
Sure, you could argue that Disney themselves should shoulder a lot of the blame for this absolute abortion of a film. Undoubtedly though, this Murphy-driven vehicle would’ve been better suited for the scrap heap. Yikes.
This is not the first nor will it be the last movie on this list where Murphy decided to play almost every character in the film. It’s not his fault. People loved it so much when he did it “Coming to America” that he must have figured it was the goose that laid the golden egg. Instead, he’s been laying giant turds and calling them films.
2003 was a terrible year to be making movies with Eddie Murphy. Between “The Haunted Mansion” and this terrible “comedy” about two men starting a day care service, you’d think that Eddie was trying to make shitty films that year. What.A.Stinker.
Yikes. That’s pretty much all I have to say about this total clunker. Yikes.
In 1985 the idea of a film starring Robert De Niro and Eddie Murphy would make any film buff cream their jeans. In 2002 what we got was a massive piece of shit for a film. IMDb’s summary says this was a spoof of buddy cop movies. I think what they meant was this was a spoof of an actual motion picture. What I mean is that this was a terrible, terrible movie.
The Nutty Professor/Klumps Films
So.Totally.Gross. And they made more than one of these films. It’s like a parody of itself. These movies make those goddamned Madea films look like “The Godfather.”
The Adventures of Pluto Nash (2002)
Okay. This is absolutely the worst Eddie Murphy movie ever filmed. It had a budget of $100,000,000 and brought in a total of $4,000,000 world-wide. So we’re talking about a 96% loss on investment. The writing is terrible, the acting is worse, and there is absolutely, positively nothing redeemable about this movie. This movie is so bad it makes me angry.
It makes me want to get inside a time machine, go back to 1981 and force Eddie Murphy into a plane to some remote island. “The Adventures of Pluto Nash” is so terrible that I think it discredits every good film Murphy ever made. It damn near kills “Raw” and “Delusional.”
This movie should not only get Murphy disqualified as the host of the Oscars next year, it should get his fucking SAG card pulled, and all the films he ever did thrown in a bonfire. I guess I’m trying to say “Fuck Pluto Nash.”
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